Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
