I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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