I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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