State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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