if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
