i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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