just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize