How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I smell stomach acid.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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