who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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