my mouth tastes like poor choices
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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