ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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