For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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