wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize