thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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