This is not my ceiling
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
