My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
