Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
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So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
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I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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