Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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