Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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