he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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