did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
