1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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