Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize