How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
