i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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