scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize