I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
