Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
