i think my tv is drunk
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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