Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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