By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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