Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.

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(203): No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/3z5u

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(951): View more from California

I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it

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(951): I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it http://tfl.nu/eb7i

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(407): View more from Florida

sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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(407): sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch. http://tfl.nu/v1iz

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(678): View more from Georgia

Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.

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(678): Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi. http://tfl.nu/4g6k

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(408): View more from California

Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.

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(408): Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class. http://tfl.nu/q2vz

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(757): View more from Virginia

he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.

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(757): he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree. http://tfl.nu/5ajs

Replies (4) Good night (3111) Bad night (749)
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(914): View more from New York

Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.

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(914): Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive. http://tfl.nu/oqgn

Replies (18) Good night (2059) Bad night (2229)
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(614): View more from Ohio

at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.

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(614): at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure. http://tfl.nu/2f8p

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(713): View more from Texas

just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!

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(713): just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success! http://tfl.nu/u8oi

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.

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(608): Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice. http://tfl.nu/it3i

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm romantic.

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(306): I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones. (306): I'm romantic. http://tfl.nu/dair

Replies (4) Good night (1390) Bad night (315)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..

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(615): Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away.. http://tfl.nu/yxrc

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(512): View more from Texas

You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.

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(512): You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor. http://tfl.nu/8xpn

Replies (1) Good night (984) Bad night (234)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.

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(307): I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open. http://tfl.nu/7eks

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(859): View more from Kentucky

This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.

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(859): This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her. http://tfl.nu/8e8b

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