i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.