he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.