I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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