does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.