i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
