The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
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People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability