This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.