i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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