i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Is it because I queefed?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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