Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
