I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
