This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
