can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
