hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
