You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
