this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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