Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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