will power is for people who don't want to get laid
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
