NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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