After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
