Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
