So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
