I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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