and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
