she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
