singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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